


To the sky

by aguacate



Category: BomBARDed (Podcast)
Genre: Anxiety, Disabled Character, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Mental Health Issues, Slice of Life, Slow Burn, University AU, alternative universe, btw tabitha is a butch you're welcomed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-08
Updated: 2018-09-07
Packaged: 2019-07-08 07:17:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15925541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aguacate/pseuds/aguacate
Summary: Two young women meet each other by accident while stargazing. How funny and ironic, that all they needed to find their place on earth, was to look towards the sky.  // Chapters will always contain warnings if needed.





	To the sky

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: Anxiety and mild-self hate. Please read with caution.
> 
> I want to thank the lovely people of the Bombarded discord for being so nice and hyping me up, especially SignatorySea, SerBrainy and Almighy C4 for beta reading and giving honest feedback. I apreciate you three a lot! You can find SignatorySea in ao3 too and SerBrainy soon. Check them out!

After walking for an hour Tabitha finally found a place quiet enough for her to listen to her own brain telling her how bad today she had performed today. Or generally, how bad she did today. Sleeping in late, forgetting the chord progression, breaking a glass… It felt like she was not able to do things right at all. Ever.

_“I’m really sorry guys, I don’t know what happened”_

Part of her wanted to believe that everyone could get so anxious at band practice that even they could forget how to play ukulele. Another part of her was sure that she was just not made for music school. Maybe it was true. Maybe she should go back home to study anything else. She liked stars. She could study them. An astronomer. _Tabitha “an astronomer” Wright._ She sighed loudly. 

“Fucking failure” she whispered to herself. Yes, she liked the stars, but she liked singing about them. Studying them? Not so much. And honestly, the only thing she genuinely could imagine herself doing was music. At least before today. Now, all she could imagine was being an anxious mess.

_“I really am trying, I am sorry, I really am, I…”_

“Oh fuck.” Tabitha whispered annoyed with herself, because she was crying, again. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck”

She covered her face, embarrassed. While she walked to the outskirts of town, to be able to be as alone as she could be. She was not planning on crying on public. Even if only the stars were there to judge. But if only she could make herself feel better, if only she could stop crying. This was not like herself. Lately she was not feeling like herself. Somehow, she was losing, losing herself to her fears. She didn’t like it. She hated it, and somehow, it made her hate herself.

“Hey, are you okay?”

 _Fuck, shit. Fucking shit hell, fuck._ Tabitha raised her head, half confused, half wanting the earth to just eat her and not leave anything behind. Not a single trace of Tabitha “Public Crybaby” Wright to be found anywhere. But that was not going to happen. Instead, she would have to talk to this young woman looking at her. 

“I’m sorry” the woman said. She was bigger than Tabitha in any sense of the word. Her hair dyed green and her skin tattooed. She scratched her head, looking at Tabitha with confusion before sighing. “I didn’t mean to frighten you. It’s just that…. I don’t know, you were crying alone in a forest… So I thought I should check if you were okey?”

Tabitha never wanted magic to be as real as she did now. She didn’t want to have this conversation. She just wanted to disappear.

“I am sorry…” the stranger said. She scratched her head and once again, looked at the floor. “I just, I don’t know, you seemed distressed?”

“No, no, no, no. It’s okay. I am sorry”

“For what?”

“I don’t know, I just… I’m…”

“Oh”

This was, to say the least, awkward. So mortifyingly awkward in fact, that Tabitha couldn’t hold it anymore. She just hid her face in her sweater, catching a lot air…

“Oh no, I’m so sorry, please don’t cry!”

And then laughter. Straight up laughter. First light and quiet, then heavy and loud. Filling the air, confusing the stranger. Confusing her until she laughed too, because lifting the air felt better than dragging it down. Laughter until there was silence. A strangely comfortable silence. 

“That was really…” Tabitha was the first one to break it.

“Awkward” the stranger interrupted smiling, head tilted to the left.

Tabitha smiled, before shyly looking at her feet and sighing.

“I’m sorry if I was being loud or annoying. I… I can see why that could be distressing”

The stranger bite her lip and shook her head.

“Nah, buddy. I saw you by chance. I just… Felt bad and got worried, I guess? I can see why that could feel weird” she extended her arm towards Tabitha. “Name is Yashee, by the way.”  
She looked at Yashee’s arm. She looked at the tattoos, the painted nails and the rings. She looked at a hand that didn’t judgingly point at her. Tabitha smiled, accepting Yashee’s handshake.

“I’m Tabitha, and it did feel weird, but also kind of nice. So I guess, thank you?”

“Nice and weird, that’s who I am!” 

Tabitha laughed at that remark seeing Yashee smile widely. 

“Thank you. I think I needed that” Tabitha hid her face in her sweater, hoping to hide the blush on her cheeks. 

“No problem. I am glad to hear that, bud.”

Tabitha looked at the bench she was sitting in, and for some reason decided to ask.

“Wanna sit? The stars look nice tonight”

Yashee looked at her, and after a few seconds of silence she smiled.

“Oh, why not.”

Yashee sat on the bench and smiled while looking towards the sky. “I am happy I walked for this.” She laughed. “Aw, they really do look nice.”

“They do! Also, did you know that you can see some constellations from here?” explained Tabitha, smile wide and bright. “You can see a bit of the Ursa Minor. There!”

Yashee paid attention, following Tabitha’s finger before breaking out into laughter.

“Looks like a spoon to me…”

“I mean, it does a bit… But that’s the fun of constellations you know… They made it up, so it could have been a spoon”

Tabitha laughed, and started pointing at stars and giving small trivia facts about them, while Yashee would crack some jokes. It felt good. She was talking to a stranger, but a kind one. A kind stranger named Yashee, who loved spoons. Time flew quick, and before she realized, the mistakes from today seemed smaller. And when there was nothing else to say, she looked up in silence for a bit.

“That was cool, Tabitha” Yashee got up and stretched her back, making a pained expression. “I need to go home now.”

Tabitha nodded, feeling a bit disappointed that she had to say goodbye.

“I hope I see you stargazing again soon, though.”

Her head rose, looking at Yashee with a wide smile. 

“I hope so too Yashee”

She got up on her feet, hiding her hands inside her sweater paws. She still felt heavy inside, at least now she was feeling warm. She stayed behind, still needing a bit more time to look towards the sky. Standing there, just breathing and looking up. Up to the sky. Tomorrow could be hard too, but at least she knew she could find kindness.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading the first chapter of this fanfic. Take care and stay safe!


End file.
